Is He GoInG tO Be MiNe?

Is he going to be mine?

"wa'asaan takrohu syai'an wa huwa khairullakum,wa'asa an tuhibbu syai'an wa huwa sharrullakum,
wallahu ya'lamu wa antum la ta'lamun"
(al-baqarah:216)

Today's his birthday...and i wish him..
He replied..."thanks...=)"
It's killing me....after a long silence....


Once before...
I did thought he was just my childish crush
Now,it seems that i'm wrong....
Almost 9 years,this hidden love....it's still unchanged
I'm thinking all of a sudden......am i able to let him go?
He's starting to torture my mind....i fight back...
I take my headset,turning on radio...
Listening to quranic recitation....
'Return back to Allah,the light of life...it is the prerequisite of happiness here...and hereafter'
(Cahaya kehidupan by Hijjaz-translated by me)


I really miss his family,really miss his parents....
And i do miss him....
To his dad,forgive me...
I can't approach him without knowing who's inside his heart...
Those memories...Langkawi...that school...
That mosque...even home....
I'll keep that as one of my best moments ever....

To him
I don't love you for the sake of your looks....
I don't love you for the sake of your wealth...
I don't love you for the sake of our parents's friendship...
But i love you because it's just you....

Thanks a lot...
For your compulsory word after chatting:-
anything wrong,just tell me okay
(I translate myself,he used to tell in 'loghat klate')
Thanks for everything...

I'm praying that you will
Be a good Muslim doctor...
Be a good son and a good brother...
Be a good servant of Allah...

Is he going to be mine?

If we're destined together...then praise to Allah (i'll sujud syukur)...
I'll never mistreat our parents's friendship to hold you....
But if we're not meant together...then..i hope Allah will lend His strength for me... 

I love you....
But now...i'm willing to let you go...
Like my dad sacrificed his first love for my mom...
I hope i can cope with this...
Let Allah decides what's the best for us...
But...
I hope you'll always keep in mind...
I'll never let you go with the title of 'friend'...
A true friend...
-Sanah helwah...my friend-

(written on 28th March 2010)

*hasil nukilan ni xde kena mengena dgn sesiapa,jugak bukan kisah cinta n isi hati mana-mana pihak....idea utk menulis dtg semasa tgh stress dgn final exam.....husnuzzon n avoid gossip(^_^)