perkongsian ringkas

Bismillah....


      Juz sedikit perkongsian ringkas yg ku peroleh drpd kakak usrah kami. Kakak kami berkongsi kata-kata ustaz Pahrol Mohd Juoi yg didengarnya di ikim fm sebelum prtemuan kami. Katanya, seandainyalah kita masuk ke zaman Rasulullah dan para sahabat, pasti kita akan cakap, "eh, mereka ni gila". Manakan tidak, ada yg sanggup mengutip batu2 kecil di jalan dan memenuhkn mulutnya dengan batu2 tu. Kenapa? hanya kerana nk mengelakkan dirinya daripada mengumpat, memfitnah. Sedangkn manusia zaman kita? sehari takde berita sensasi, boleh tak senang duduk dibuatnya. Kadang2 dh warning kt mulut sndiri utk diam, tapi bila ade 'driving force' yg stimulate 'gossip receptors',tros laju je impulse smpai..dan mulut pun trbukalah bercerita hal orang itu,ini...('gossip receptors' tuu, ayat xleh blah hehe...kot2 pasni ade yg bukak buku physiology cari gossip receptors kt chapter nervous system :p). Okeh,sambung..dh melalut pulak. Masa turunnya wahyu supaya kaum wanita menutup aurat,para sahabat Rasulullah pada masa tu jugak mencapai apa saja yg ada,trmasuklah  kain langsir dan terus menutup aurat isteri mereka. Nak cakapnya di sini, pegangan Islam mereka sangatlah kukuh dan patuhnya mereka pd perintah Allah. Hal sebaliknya turut trjadi, seandainyalah mereka yg hidup di zaman Rasulullah ni masuk ke zaman kita, mereka pun akan mengatakan kita ni gila. Kenapa? because of our lifestyle. Islam is the way of life. Tapi hakikatnya,bukan smua yg kita buat ikut jln Islam. Ekonomi kita tak sekukuh di zaman khulafa al-rasyidin, masih dimanipulasi orang kafir. Ilmu agama penuh di dada,tapi bebas keluar berdua-duaan dengan bukan muhrim. Solat bertelekung cantik, tapi habis je solat,keluar rumah atau masjid tudung entah ke mana. 

Kata-kata terakhir utk kita smua muhasabah diri, reflect on ourselves. DI MANA LETAKNYA ISLAM DLM DIRI KITA? adakah pada hati,pada telekung,kopiah, sejadah?atau hanya sekadar pada nama?

the hidden tears

Bismillah...


    Words of the day: SEDIH,PEDIH,LETIH (penambahan idea prkataan berakhir dgn 'ih' untuk menambah hiperbola ayat sgt dialu-alukan). Hari ni lemah aku rasakan,nk menangis tapi air mata tak nak keluar. My heart cries with every heartbeat.


"Sedih? eh nampak happening je kau dari pagi tadi...takde nampak emo pun,siap boleh gelak-gelak lagi"


Itu drpd perspektif orang lain. Correction, that's really how I am. Kebiasaan dari kecik, aku tak nangis dpan orang. Keep trying to hide all those sadness...tahan Arifah,tahan..don't never ever shows them your face with tears falling down!


Tetiba tengah sedih-sedih ni aku teringat kakak usrah aku. Aku rasa mcm nk berlari keluar  mengadu dengan dia. Akak, saya nk sangat cari akak, nk mengadu dengan akak. Saya tak nak cari orang lain. Saya tak faham kenapa saya rindu sangat nk jumpa akak, padahal baru tadi saya jumpa akak masa solat zohor kt masjid. Kenapa nama akak yg terlintas kt fikiran saya? Saya rindu nk pandang wajah akak, saya rasa tenang. Saya rindu nk dengar nasihat akak...akak tolong brainwash saya, tolong bersihkan hati saya, tolong saya fokus mencintai Dia yg berhak! Tapi saya tahu akak pun dh cukup sibuk dgn urusan akak, saya tak sampai hati nk ganggu hujung minggu akak. Kalau dapat bertemu muka pun mungkin lidah saya kelu nk bercerita. Jadi saya mengadu dengan Allah, merintih betapa pedihnya hati. The more I pray, the more Allah shows me the way. I trust that.


Saya nk cakap pada akak....jiwa saya skrg dh keras, cuma atas sebab-sebab tertentu saya menangis semahunya. Dulu saya rasa hidup saya dikongkong parents waktu sekolah, saya nangis. Tapi masa awal2 masuk u,dh bebas di kampus nangis jugak sbab homesick. Ada skali masa tunggu abah waktu balik dari skolah,kata-kata berbisa dilempar pada saya cuma sbab saya tak layan usikan sorang akak yg galak 'mainkan' adiknya dengan saya. Balik rumah trus nangis dlm toilet. Oh ya, kt skolah ade budak laki cop saya pempuan takde perasaan. Peduli ape aku, sebab kaulah, masa aku on duty  jaga gate blakang skolah cikgu tuduh dating masa school hours tahu! Then, arwah atuk saya meninggal, saya sayu tengok saat terakhirnya, sampai termimpi-mimpi arwah atuk datang merayu mintak al-fatihah drpd saya. Saya terkilan tak dpt byk berbakti pada arwah atuk semasa hayatnya. Tak lama lpas tu, mak saya nangis dengan kembalinya "past love story" abah, that was the worst one, seminggu demam panas di kampus. Takpe, saya bukan anak derhaka akak, bukan sikap saya nk kurang ajar dengan abah walau apa pun salah dia. Saya anak sulung, jadi trpaksa kuatkn hati untuk umi. Alhamdulillah, hal tu dh berlalu. Satu persatu hal yg trjadi mnjadikan hati saya kering. Saya penat nk nangis. Mungkin sebab tu kali ni saya rasa sedih tp tak boleh nk nangis. Saya memang bersalah agaknya kali ni. Maaf hati saya tak dpt dibuka utk mereka. Maaf sbab saya tak cuba faham niat ikhlas mereka. Maaf sbab saya terlalu yakin i'm not the one for them. Saya doakan mereka bertemu dgn pilihan terbaik, bcoz all of u deserve that. Dan dah tentu saya turut doakn orang-orang yg prnah saya harapkn cpat bertemu bakal zaujah mereka. Doakn saya juga bertemu pilihan Allah untuk saya. (^_^)

Wipe your tears, come what may,
You will be the one to say,
I'll be alright, I'll be okay,
Keeping my all worries at bay,
Finding the white within the grey.

We're not here to stay anyway,
It's a journey. Remember that everyday,
And that we'll arrive safely home one day,
And we work, we hope, and we pray,
That we'll be among those who obey.
-copied from aiman azlan-


*Nk hiburkn hati jap dgn tengok bola sbenarnya, mlm ni klate vs johor fc...tapi tak jumpa live stream, last2 melekat di blog dan work up for this entry. 

I'M TOO BUSY

One more poem to nourish the spiritual needs....I felt like every single words really struck my heart.

Everyday as I wake up at dawn
My mind start working the moment I yawn
There were... many things to do, o dear!
That's why I hastily did my Subuh prayer
I didn't have the time to sit longer to
praise the Lord
To me rushing out after prayer is nothing odd...

Since school, I had been busy every minute
Completing my tutorials and handing it in
My classes took up most of my time always
No time did I have to Allah to pray
Too many things to do and zikir is rare
For Allah, I really had no time to spare..

When I grew up and started my career
Working all day to secure my future
When I reached home, I prefered to have fun
I chatted on the phone but i didn't read the Quran
I spent too much time surfing the Internet
Sad to say, my faith was falling flat...

The only time I have left is weekends
During which I prefer window shopping with friends
I couldn't spare time to go to the mosque
I'm too busy, that's the BIG EXCUSE...

I did my five prayers but did so quickly
After prayer, I didn't sit longer to reflect quietly
I didn't have time to help the needy ones
I was loaded with work as my precious time runs

No time at all to visit a sick Muslim friend
To orphans and elderly, I hardly lent a hand
I'm too busy to do community service
When there were gatherings, I helped the least

My life was already full of stress
So I didn't counsel a Muslim in distress
I didn't spend much time with my family
B'coz i thought, doing so is a waste of time...

No time to share with non-Muslim about Islam
Even though I know, inviting causes no harm
No time to do Sunnah prayers at all
All these contribute to my imaan's fall..

I'm busy here and busy there
I've no time at all, that's all I care
I went for religious lessons, just once in awhile
Coz i'm too busy making a pile...

I worked all day and i slept all night
Too tired for Tahajjud and it seemed not right
To me, earning a living was already tough
so i only did basic deeds but that's not enough..

No time at all, to admire God's creation
No time to praise Allah and seek His Compassion
Although I know how short is my life
For Islam, I really didn't strive..

Finally the day comes, when the Lord calls for me
And I stood before Him with my Life's History

I feel so guilty b'coz i should have prayed more
Isn't that what a Muslim lives for?
To thank Allah and do more good deeds
And the Quran is for us all to read..

Now at Judgement Day, I'm starting to fret
I've wasted my life but it's too late to regret
My entry to Paradise depend on my good behaviour
But i've not done enough nor did proper prayer

My "good deed book" is given from my right
An angel opened my "book" and read out my plight.
Then the angel chided me....

"O You Muslim servant, you are the one,
Who is given enough time, yet not much is done
Do you know that your faith is loose?
saying "no time" is only an excuse.
Your "good deed book" should be filled up more
with all the good work you stood up for..

Hence, I only recorded those little good deeds
As I say this, I know your eyes will mist..
I was about to write some more, you see
But i did not have, THE TIME to list".......

"Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah,ampunilah kami dan rahmatilah kami.Sesungguhnya hanya Engkaulah penolong kami"

When I say...I am a Muslim

Masa tgh surf2 internet trjumpa poem ni...tp sayang xtau sape author,for sure not local..just copy the half of it sbb panjang sgt poem ni

When I say....I am a Muslim,
I'm not shouting "down with Christians and Jews"
I am whispering "I seek peace",
And Islam is the path that I choose.


When I say....I am a Muslim,
I speak of this with pride.
And confess that sometime I stumble,
and need Allah to be my guide.


When I say....I am a Muslim,
I know this makes me strong.
And in those times when I am weak,
I pray to Allah for strength to carry on.


When I say....I am a Muslim,
I'm not boasting of success.
I'm acknowledging that Allah has rescued me,
and I cannot ever repay the debt.


When I say....I am a Muslim,
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are indeed visible,
but Allah forgives because his followers are worth it.


When I say....I am a Muslim,
it does not mean I will never feel pain.
I still have my share of heartaches,
which is why I invoke Allah's name.


When I say....I am a Muslim,
I do not wish to judge.
I have no such authority
My duty is to submit to Allah's all-encompassing love.

ThE wEaKeR

Bismillah....


      Tahun ni sedikit lemah. Cuti habis dgn demam, batuk tmbh dgn mcm2 common ailments lg. Sekejap baik, then datang semula. Sampai umi cakap "kau balik jelah UIA cepat2...duk rumah lama-lama pun jadi sakit". Hehe. Start mcm ni lpas blk dr community service di Cambodia + Bangkok (ade bwk balik resistant bacteria dari Kemboja kot...hahaha. Tapi seronok, nak kata puas hati blum lg sebab rasa masih blum cukup sumbangan yg kami tinggalkn pd masyarakat kt sana). Bulan puasa lg melarat...patutnya amal ibadat tu makin berisi drpd thn sebelumnya,tapi thn ni dh makin kurus pulak. Mujur terawih aku usahakn jgak jgn tinggal...ade skali abah lmbt blk, xnk tinggal punya pasal..trpaksa aku imamkan adik2. Yg part baca Qur'an n lain2 amal goes down sbb duk sakit je. Sayangnyaaa. Haih, lemah btul antibodi....rugi2...harapnya sakit2 tu jd kafarah dosa. Alhamdulillah smpai raya dh sembuh...balik rumah adik pulak jangkitkn demam panas 3 hari sebelum blk kampus, then baru sehari dua ni makin baik...trpaksa tunggu btul2 sembuh dulu, jeles ramai sebok abiskn puasa 6 (T_T)....ya Allah, kurangnya pahala aku kali ni...kurangnya sayang aku kt Tuhan. Teringat pulak lagu Opick....


~ maafkanlah...bila hati tak sempurna mencintai-Mu~

oh ya, yesterday was the 1st day of the new sem...also 1st day to officially climb up one phase of 3rd year. Lama bertapa kt rumah, so semangat berkobar-kobar for the 1st few lectures. Masuk petang je, kami dh ditakutkan dgn cabaran clinical pharmacy, especially bab case presentation during clinical attachment starting from 5th week. Welcome to an 'exciting clinical year'! @_@..rabbi yassir wala tu'assir